We are not a broken family

I have been heading a single-parent family for nearly six years now. I am a teacher, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in meetings and conferences while others lamented the fact that we have to deal with “broken families.” I think it’s a hurtful phrase and one that I’ve had to work hard to overcome. My family is not broken. While maintaining our family’s privacy, I will just say divorce was not a decision that was taken lightly.

My ex-husband and I have made many compromises and more importantly, made peace with each other, in order to be the best co-parents possible for our kids. Yes, there are differences in our parenting styles, but we discuss all major decisions and are in general agreement on the important things. We face the same issues we would have been dealing with if we were still married.

Just because a children’s parents are divorced, it doesn’t have necessarily mean the family is broken. Broken to me means deficient in a way that is beyond repair. We may not have two parents living together in the same house, but I still consider my ex and his family my family and I always will.

We are bound together for the rest of our lives by our two children, and I want to make the best of it. I am happy that it’s not awkward or painful to sit together at recitals or meet up to go trick-or-treating. We will not have to sit in separate rows when our children graduate or get married.

Although it’s a sad statement about our society that the divorce rate is so high, the most practical way to help children is to give them a sense of family no matter what its makeup. I support the institution of marriage. When it works, it’s a beautiful partnership. But there are other types of families that work too. We may not look like the Pajamagram picture above, but we’re still a whole, beautiful family!

 

Please check out my first novel, Giving Myself Away, about a divorced mom making tough choices.

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Why it’s great to be single

Adriennes blog 1 trash can picHi, I’m Adrienne.  I know I’m getting over this whole divorce thing because some mornings I actually wake up and feel relieved to be single.  I love to make lists.  My favorite kind of list is the one you write when you’re feeling really upbeat and motivated – the kind I fold up and tuck in a drawer to look at later on the days I’m feeling anything but upbeat.  Here’s the latest:

Things you don’t have to worry about anymore when you’re single:

  1. whether or not I snore when I sleep on my back
  2. who’s going to take out the trash (I already know it’s going to be me, so there’s no one to nag)
  3. consulting anyone else on what I decide to buy
  4. not having to share the closets or the dresser anymore
  5. ???

Help me out here… what would you add to my list that’s great about being single?  I don’t want to sound all bitter about marriage or anything, but really, we need to make the best of our situation and enjoy the good parts.

I hope you’ll want to read all about how I ended up where I am in Giving Myself Away (coming out this fall!).

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